About the Author

Mark Hutten, M.A. is the creator of Online Parent
He is a practicing counseling psychologist and
parent-coach with more than 20 years’ experience. He
has worked with hundreds of children, teens, adults and
couples with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism
(HFA), and presents workshops and runs training
courses for families and professionals who deal with
Aspergers and HFA. Also, Mark is a prolific author of
articles and ebooks on the subject.

Contact Information

Online Parent Support, LLC
2328 N 200 E
Anderson, IN 46012

Phone: 765-810-3319
Relationship Skills
for Couples Affected by Aspergers
Are you experiencing relationship difficulties with your Aspergers partner?
Has separation or divorce crossed your mind?
Are the two of you already in the process of breaking up?

S T O P !

Don't make another decision until you read Living with an Aspergers Partner.
Reader Reviews

I have a wonderful marriage, but I still
found so much valuable info in your ebook.
Sometimes we get so caught up in what we
think is "real" that we lose sight of the truth.
Once again, thank you for these relationship
techniques specific to the Aspergers
condition.   ~ Irene

We really thought we had a hopeless case
until we found your ebook. We had no idea
that things could have worked out as they
have. You have no idea the misery (and the
expense) you saved us. We are not married
and probably never will be. But our
relationship is still very important because
we have two children together. Thanks for
helping us.   ~ Rhonda and Ryan

I stumbled across your website and must
confess that it has been a great blessing to
me for the last week. After reading through
your straight-to-the-point ebook, I feel I am
starting to find some meaning in my life
again. Much of what you say requires that I
honestly examine myself, and that is exactly
what I am doing now.   ~ Joel

I just finished 'Living with an Aspergers
Partner' and it was outstanding. Short,
straight to the point and very easy to
understand. I will begin to implement the
'fair-fighting' strategies tonight.   ~ Kristi

Since I began reading “Living with an
Aspergers Partner,” I am changed and I have
also given my boyfriend some reading to do.
He has also improved. Thanks so much for
your advice and help! Our relationship has
made some great breakthroughs and we are
soon getting married!  After reading your
ebook, we are now in love again and we do
as much as we can to create quality time for
one another.   ~ Jill

IF you are even THINKING about starting a
divorce, you need to read this BEFORE you
hire your attorney!!   ~ Elizabeth

Thank you for the practical tips that I can
really work on to be proactive in salvaging
my relationship with my Aspergers husband.
The true examples from real people gave me
insight that you can really survive in an
relationship like this.   ~ Gayle

When I read that section on the stereotypes
about Aspergers men, I didn't want to believe
they were wrong.  I mean, these are the
things I believed!  But the more I thought
about it, the more it explained a lot of the
problems I've had dealing with my husband.
I wish I knew this stuff back when we first got
married. Things would sure be a lot different
today. Thanks for finally telling me how
Aspies really think!   ~ Angie

The “Living with an Aspergers Partner” ebook
was very instrumental in helping my husband
and myself understand each other by
learning to communicate love words, to
respect each other’s space, and to speak up
when annoyed and not harbor anger. We
were on the verge of divorce, thinking there
was no way to repair the damage. Your
ebook was a Godsend. After years of
uncertainties, we are happy that we found
your website and ebook. We worked it out
and stayed together!!  We will celebrate our
16th anniversary this year!   ~ Kay and Michael

As a Marriage and Family Therapist who
works with couples, I have found "Living with
an Aspergers Partner" a practical resource
for helping my clients. Please continue to
spread the word about Aspergers, because
there are so many practicing clinicians out
there that really should NOT be giving advice
to their Aspergers clients. As I have
discovered through reading your material,
what works with a "typical" couple does NOT
work with an "Aspergers" couple. Thanks for
enlightening me.   ~ Rebecca

The biggest benefit I have gained from
“Living with an Aspergers Partner” was
perspective. There were so many lessons
about how to look at what was happening in
my life from a different angle. I needed clarity
and hope – and your ebook gave me that.  
Also, you email correspondence was
priceless.  Thank you so much.   ~ Jason

Just wanted to say thank you sooo much for
the amazing advice in your ebook. Yesterday
was that all important "date night" -- and it
was absolutely fantastic... I just had an email
from him saying what a great time he had
and how he can't believe how fun it was to be
together.  Also back when we split up, your
ebook picked me up out of the mud when I
was feeling the worst I ever felt in my life, and
doing all the things you advised gave me a
lifeline -- now I am so much stronger and
happier.  I'm still going to take things slowly
with my ex (I'm not at the end of your plan
yet!!) but I can't believe how well life is going
only 1 month after I felt like I was half dead.  
Thank you so much.   ~ Kim

Yes, I've learned a lot from this ebook. Thank
you so much. I am saving every lesson so I
can just read it all over again, probably with
my husband. More power to you and God
bless.   ~ Annette

In my counseling practice, I've often seen
couples affected by Asperger Syndrome
who divorced because they didn't factor in
the related issues and had very little working
knowledge of the disorder and how it affects
the marriage. Personally, I see this as a
great tragedy since most of these marriages
could have been saved. Thanks for enriching
my understanding of this disorder and its
impact on the family.   ~ Jonathon

Your ebook was an eye-opener. I enjoyed
how it was structured and presented. It gave
me insight on where to begin and how to
continue in my relationship with my Aspie
husband. Thank you for listening and being
there for me. Your email consultation was a
guiding light during a very dark time in my life.
Thanks Mark!   ~ Jeannette

Just wanted to thank you and let you know
how much you have helped me.  I followed
your guide after a very bitter breakup of a
two-year relationship with a man who has
Aspergers.  The breakup started out being
one of the most difficult things I have ever
attempted in my life, and after the initial two
weeks I started feeling stronger each day
and better about myself.  My ex sent me an
apology email three weeks in ...By now, I had
the strength to actually "sleep on it" and sent
him a response the next day...within seconds
he called me and asked to see me and was
crying because he was glad I was talking to
him.  We are starting out very slowly again as
friends (which is difficult for me since I am
still deeply  in love with him).  But I think that
we can make it work this second time around
because now I see that a lot of his behavior
was due to his Aspergers disorder and had
nothing to do with him being selfish or
uncaring. Your information has given me
new insight. Thank you.  ~ Tina

My marriage is experiencing a tremendous
transformation. I, on behalf of my wife, am
very grateful to you Mark for helping us. Your
follow-up emails were also a big factor in
why I'm not divorced today.   ~ Richard

I have spent countless dollars trying to get
help and was sadly disappointed in all until
now with you. Living with an Aspergers
Partner has been a blessing to our family
and we all thank you.   ~ Tracy and Keith

Just wanted to let you know your advice is
so rational and so sound... At such a horrible
and tough time it is reassuring to read the
correct way to relate to someone with
Aspergers. A lot of people don't realize how
simple and easy it is, patience is a virtue and
because of you ... I am now dating the love of
my life again, we were together for 4 years,
split for only 2 1/2 months and are now back
together.   ~ Katherine

The fear I always have is that an ebook won't
match up to the sales buzz created on the
promotional site, but your guide certainly
delivers the value that you promised. I
scanned through it and was very impressed
by how thoroughly you covered many topics
that truly define the Aspergers man. I am
working on myself now and preparing to
make the necessary changes in my attitude
and behavior so that my next relationship
will not end like the previous one. I especially
liked the 'Fair Fighting' section. Thanks a
million.  ~ Dwayne

I feel very lucky and blessed that we were
able to turn our marriage around like this.
My spouse with Aspergers used to spend as
much time as he could in the garage. Now
we are so in love again, and its funny ...now
he had to go away for the week ...we have
been talking on the phone every day. We can't
wait to see each other again!   ~ Beth

Just an email to personally thank you for the
great advice in your ebook. Have to tell you
that I was a bit skeptical at first, but now I truly
understand how effective your advice is. I
ordered your ebook when I was at the peak
level of depression, and right now I am at the
peak level of excitement about the future with
my sweetheart. Cheers!   ~ Kayla

I’ve never felt more in charge of my life. Right
since the day I started reading your ebook till
now it's been nothing but wonderful. My
whole point of view about my Aspergers
partner has changed. I haven't even used half
your strategies and I am already seeing such
an improvement in how we get along. Thank
you very much for your support.   ~ Jackie

I seriously thought there was no hope left for
me and my wife. She wanted to get rid of me
at all costs. I was in more pain than I can
possibly describe. We both followed the
advice in your ebook and Teresa and I are
back again. Mark, you're a genius. Thank you
for saving me.   ~ Shawn

I wish I had read your book earlier. I could
have saved so much time I wasted on
dealing with the pain and emotions for years.
Your relationship techniques really helped
me deal with my partner with Asperger
Syndrome. I finally understand how to relate
to him now. Thanks a ton.   ~ Candice

I feel as though my eyes are open for the first
time. I had been attributing negative motives
to my husband's behavior, for example: "he
just doesn't care" ..."he's tired and bored with
this relationship" ..."he just doesn't love me
anymore" ...and so on.  But after reading your
ebook, I see that these behaviors were not
malicious in nature, it's just how he deals
with the world. This tidbit of information alone
has made such a big difference in how we
relate. I appreciate your work.   ~ Sarah

Having read your ebook, I now have a better
understanding of AS and the situation I am
in.  I have started to adjust myself and try to
see things from his perspective.  I am also
not as depressed as before, as I now
understand that there is a reason for his
"unreasonable" behaviour, and I try not to
take it personally.  Our relationship has
improved, there is less conflict between us
and we have started talking to each other
again.   ~ Bonnie

Hi, Im also a clinician and found this so
helpful for my practice!! I was dating
someone with Aspergers and I thought I
understood everything but he just could not
commit and he would not go to counseling to
understand how his relationships failed.
Your audio instruction really turned the light
on and I'm so happy that I bought it. Best
$19.00 I ever spent.  ~ Anastasia
This program has a GUARANTEE, so there's absolutely NO WAY that you can lose!

If for any reason you are not thrilled and satisfied with your purchase,
just email me {
mbhutten@gmail.com} for a 100% prompt and courteous refund.

If you have any questions about
Living with an Aspergers Partner,
or the
Email Consultation service included in this program,
call {
765-810-3319} or email {mbhutten@gmail.com}.
All rights reserved. Material from MyOutOfControlTeen.com may not
be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any way without consent.
Website by MBH Publishers

Mark Hutten, M.A. (Counseling Psychology)
David McLaughlin, MD (Consultant: Psychiatry)
Julie Kennedy, Psy.D. (Consultant: Clinical Psychology)
"My husband, Jason, has been hard to live with. He can be charming and humorous, but he also tends to be callous, self-
centered, and indifferent. When my children were small, I centered on them so Jason's indifference did not trouble me. But
now that they are gone, he is truly driving me insane.

I met Jason when I was 17. He was good looking, brilliant and sincere -- and we fell in love fairly quickly. We were quite
different from one another, but I believed that my strengths balanced his weaknesses. I was structured and, I admit, just a little
bossy. Jason was the absent-minded professor type. He was studying for a degree in graphics, and at times would work the
whole night, failing to eat or sleep. He was a lost puppy that I wanted to save.

We had been going out for two years when I found out I was pregnant. We got married. After Laura and Jeremy were born I
stayed home until they were in school, then I went to work part-time at a nearby retail store. However, the children were always
my top priority, and I centered virtually all of my energy on them.

Jason and I have been having problems since the children were small. He did not know the first thing about caring for kids --
not even how to use a thermometer! He never could deal with any noise or disarray. If the children did not put their toys away,
he would throw a fit. He would go crazy if plans changed suddenly. Worst of all, he never really bonded with our kids.

One time, when Laura was in junior high school, she came home full of pride over a sketch of a boy's face she had drawn
in art class. Rather than telling her how fantastic it was, Jason informed her that the proportions of the face were all wrong:
‘Laura, you have to learn the fundamentals of physiology. The head is divided into five parts.’  Who talks to a child that way?  
She was in tears.

From time to time, the quirky Jason I fell deeply in love with resurfaced, such as when Jeremy was in a medical facility for
3 months with a broken leg. He was 15 then, and Jason was at his bedside every single day. He actually broke down and
purchased the bicycle that Jeremy wanted and took a photo of it. He gave the picture to Jeremy to keep at the hospital as
'incentive to get well.' Initially I believed it was crazy -- the child was in a body cast!  But it proved helpful.

Mainly though, Jason seems to live in his own world. I look after everything from finances to maintenance tasks because he
cannot be trusted to complete anything. He cannot even maintain employment. He is usually butting heads with employers
and co-workers. Not surprising, really. Jason has never been able to cope with people. If we go to an evening meal with close
friends, he will not even look at them. If anyone asks him a question, he starts off on an endless rant. I am working two jobs
now, but he seems completely unconcerned about how exhausted I am.

Just as I arrived at the breaking point, an associate gave me some articles regarding Aspergers that blew me away. Those
who have it are perfectly intelligent -- a number of them are in fact very talented -- but have difficulty conversing and bonding.
Due to the way their brain develops, they cannot read interpersonal cues and frequently behave inappropriately or do not
understand everyday conversation. The outline of the disorder matches Jason completely.

I'm not sure exactly where we go from here, though. If he does have Aspergers, it might explain his annoying habits. But will
that make it any simpler to accept? You never know. Jason and I have a lengthy history. Deep down I realize we love one
another. But unless something changes soon, I am going to lose my mind."   ~ Shannon T.
What reasons might make you want to stay together:

  • Change is something you find too difficult to face?
  • Divorce is against your religion?
  • For the children’s sake?
  • For safety and security reasons?
  • It would be too expensive to start over?
  • You are afraid of being alone?
  • You are concerned what others will think?

What if I told you it doesn't matter why you want to stay together – it only matters that you do. That's all
it will take to make these strategies work …strategies that will not only save your relationship, but will make
it better than it was before.

Emotions may be too raw right now for either of you to do what it takes to keep the relationship from steady
decline. That’s why this step-by-step guide could be a real life-saver, because it will walk you through exactly
what is required in order to change ...to grow ...and to recover!


  • your arguments linger
  • you feel isolated, alone and confused
  • you can't seem to resolve anything with your partner
  • you feel like you are not being respected or heard by him/her
  • you are frustrated about how much effort you are putting into this relationship
  • you find that spending more time together just seems to make things worse
  • you want to fall in love with your partner again
  • you want your partner to fall in love with you again


Consider downloading your copy of
Living with an Aspergers Partner. You’ve got nothing to lose since this
program comes with an unconditional, money-back guarantee. In the unlikely event that the techniques do not
significantly improve your relationship
within 30 days or less, then simply email me for a prompt and complete
refund.  Sound fair?
Living with an Aspergers Partner is a downloadable
eBook designed to help couples who are experiencing
relationship difficulties related to Aspergers (high
functioning autism).

Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers
is around 80%.  
Why so high!?  The answer may be found in
how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships.

People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others
and express themselves. They may seem to lose interest in people
over time, appear aloof, and are often mistaken as self-centered,
vain individuals.

A person with Aspergers may have trouble understanding the
emotions of their partner, and the subtle messages that are sent
by facial expression, eye contact and body language are often
missed. Because of this, a person with Aspergers might be seen
as egotistical, selfish or uncaring.
These are unfair labels, because people with Aspergers find it very difficult to understand other people's
emotional states, and they are usually shocked, upset and remorseful when told their actions were hurtful or

Imagine a movie that begins with the following scene: A woman enters a bedroom, walks around
in it, open a few drawers, and then leaves.

Most people could not witness this scene without thinking about the woman's behavior. For example, maybe
she was looking for something she thought was in the bedroom ...or maybe she heard something in the bedroom
and wanted to find out what made the noise ...or maybe, we might even imagine, she had intended to go into
the kitchen and forgot where she was going.

All these explanations are based on our inferences about the woman's mental state. What we are attempting to
do, in essence, is read her mind. Most of us engage in such mind-reading all the time. Without it, we would be
"mindblind," unaware of other people's mental existence, of the existence of thoughts, emotions, intentions,
knowledge and memories. We would be unable to make sense of the actions of others -- a terrible dilemma for
members of a social category called “Aspies.”

Tragically, “mindblindness” is not a piece of science fiction. For people with Aspergers – a condition that often
interferes with, among other things, the ability to develop normal human relationships – “mindblindness” is all
too real.

Being involved in a successful romantic relationship can be difficult for anybody! Consider all the breakup
self-help books available, the movies portraying cheating on a wife or husband, constant fighting and dramatic
breakups, and your own relationship history. Do you think these difficulties increase or decrease for someone
with Aspergers? Let’s just say that, for people who have Aspergers, it’s not easy to have a relationship while
trying to function “normally” in the world.

Living with Aspergers is harder on the sufferers as they tackle their perfectionism and obsessive behavior, but
it can also be a struggle for the people who are close to them. Living with the symptoms associated with the
Aspergers condition can be emotionally draining on the sufferer and his/her partner. A person with Aspergers
may find "empathy" a foreign emotion, causing the other partner to feel isolated and alone. For example, a
woman in love with a man with Aspergers may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization
as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being
gentle and caring to seeming cold and
. She may find his behavior hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation and confusion.

Some common issues for people with an Aspergers spouse or partner include:

  • A sense of isolation, because the challenges of their relationship are different and not easily understood by
  • After accepting that their partner's Aspergers won't get better, common emotions include guilt, despair and
  • Difficulties in accepting that their partner won't recover from Aspergers
  • Failure to have their own needs met by the relationship
  • Feeling overly responsible for their Aspergers partner
  • Frequent wondering about whether or not to end the relationship
  • Frustration, because problems in the relationship don't seem to improve despite great efforts
  • Lack of emotional support from family members and friends who don't fully understand or appreciate the
    extra strains placed on a relationship by Aspergers

One wife of an Aspergers man tells her story as follows:
A word from Mark Hutten, M.A.

Dear Friend,

Why did you come to this site? Is your relationship in trouble? Were you hoping to find something here that
would help you solve the problems and get things “back to normal” again? Or do you want your relationship
to be even better than before – better than you ever thought possible?

Do you feel like the only choice is between (a) accepting things as they are now - no matter how bad they get,
or (b) leaving your partner?

If you really want to save your relationship, then you have come to the right place. I created
Living with an
Aspergers Partner
with YOU in mind (i.e., a partner affected by the Aspergers condition), so that you can get
immensely satisfying results with your relationship FAST …even if you are experiencing severe communication
barriers and you are the only one who wants to work on it!

Living with an Aspergers Partner is the most practical, easy-to-follow and comprehensive program
available today for partners affected by the Aspergers condition. Thousands of people worldwide, just like you,
have used these unique strategies to put themselves on the “relationship-rescue” fast-track, while regaining their
inner happiness in the process. Will you be next?

Here are just a few of the areas we will cover in this eBook:

1. Aspergers Diagnosis in Adults
2. How to Get an Official Diagnosis
3. How to Tell an Adult They May Have Aspergers
4. Typical Adult Symptoms
5. Sexuality Issues Related to Aspergers
6. Dating Strategies
7. Being a Partner
8. Living with Aspergers
9. Aspergers Men and Relationship Difficulties
10. Aspergers Women and Relationship Difficulties
11. Helping Yourself Through Times of Depression
12. Dealing with Resentment
13. Relationship Strategies for Aspergers Partners
14. Love and Affection
15. Characteristics Women Find Attractive in Aspergers Men
16. Characteristics Men Find Attractive in Aspergers Women
17. Aspergers Men and Emotions
18. Being a Parent
19. Parenting Strategies for Aspergers Fathers
20. Parenting Strategies for Aspergers Mothers
21. Strategies to Improve the Marriage
22. How to Deal with an Aspergers Man
23. How to Deal with an Aspergers Woman
24. Aspergers Men and Empathy
25. Fighting Fair with Your Aspergers Partner
26. How to Avoid Divorce
27. Treatment

You're about to learn simple, easy strategies to solve almost any relationship conflict associated with the
Aspergers condition. Whether you are stressed out by your inability to communicate properly with your
partner/spouse, want to improve your emotional/physical intimacy, need to resolve specific and complicated
issues, or simply want to put your relationship/marriage back on the right track, then this eBook will be
best purchase of the year

You may have tried numerous ineffective methods to “fix” or
improve your relationship, without even
knowing it. This isn't your fault. Many partners affected by Aspergers have searched far and wide for the
right information that will improve their situation – but not all advice out there is "the right" advice.

Many people who are struggling in their relationships due to Aspergers-related issues have had advice from
“expert” marriage counselors …they’ve tried their plans …they've spent a lot of money on their services …they
may have even tried a trial separation …and now they're still looking for answers because all their hard
work/time/money has done very little to improve their situation. They’re still stuck with the same old
unresolved issues.

Why? Because most marriage counselors do not know the first thing about Aspergers or how it affects intimate

The hard truth is this: It would be a whole lot easier - and a lot less painful - to simply beat your head
against a brick wall than to continue "working" on your relationship
in the dark. I’m going on record as saying
hard work on your relationship isn't the answer'.  As I'm sure you know, there is such a thing as "working
hard" - and then there is "working smart."  
Hard work has gotten you nowhere - and it never will.

If you are really truly tired of wasting time and energy trying to change your partner, then this information is
going to be a break-through for you.  A solution is just 5 minutes away.

Before telling you what you'll find in
Living with an Aspergers Partner, I want to tell you what this
program is NOT about…

It's NOT about:

1.        Begging or pleading your partner to change his/her behavior
2.        Forcing your partner to understand where he/she went wrong
3.        Giving in to your partner's wants and demands

What it IS about is:

1.        Finding effective ways to cope with a challenging disorder called Aspergers
2.        Supporting your partner in his/her goals and aspirations in a way where you grow together
3.        Ultimately learning to have a lot of fun and intimacy together again
4.        Understanding why people with Aspergers think, feel, and behave the way they do
5.        Getting your life as a whole back on track, outside of your relationship

Using the methods outlined in Living with an Aspergers Partner, hundreds of couples have bounced back
from a vast range of seemingly irreversible problems, such as:

  • a suffocating partner
  • a distant partner
  • children issues
  • parenting issues
  • excessive fighting
  • extra-marital affairs
  • ineffective or not enough communication
  • lack of intimacy
  • not enough quality time for busy schedules
  • trial separations
  • unresolved conflicts
  • and many more complex and difficult situations

I strongly believe that with the right information, virtually anyone can have the relationship of their dreams.

What's the catch?

Well, you have to actually work the program! Most people who fail do so because they never take action …or
they fear it is already too late …or they worry what their partner and others may think. They don't have the
patience or desire to save their relationship. They either give up and settle for a miserable lackluster life, or they
get a divorce. Like too many other couples who have struggled with Aspergers-related issues, they see the
problems as simply "too big to fix."

If you really truly want a loving partner who will work with you as a team-player throughout your relationship,
and if you want to be respected by your friends and your partner as someone who takes great care of his/her
family, then there is no doubt in my mind this program will work for you.

Picture this:

It's a month from today, and your relationship is so strong that all your friends are remarking how happy you
and your partner seem to be. You've recovered from the previous stress and disappointment that you went
through, and you are in a much happier place than you are now. Even better, you know that it would take a
team of wild horses to tear you and your partner apart now.

Now, stop and look back on today. Considering that you've resolved this major crisis in your life, and know that
you will never be as stressed by it again in the future, what price tag would have made it a good investment?

Here are 5 good reasons to start working this program today:

1.   To date (July of 2013) over 3,000 couples have used the techniques outlined in Living with an Aspergers
to rescue their relationship. Now you have the opportunity to be next.

2.   From all my years of counseling couples affected by Aspergers, I’ve discovered this: If you don't make the
decision to take action and get this area of your life sorted out right now, it’s not likely you'll do anything about
it in the future. Do you really want to leave your relationship – and life in general – to chance? You owe it to
yourself and to your partner to make an informed decision and to give your relationship the best possible chance
of long-term success.

3.   In addition to the eBook, you will receive
free email-based consultation to ensure that your specific
relationship issues are resolved once and for all
.  That’s right!  After you read the eBook, you can email me
as often as needed
, and I will help you trouble-shoot any problem-areas that still need to be addressed.

4.   With your instant money-back guarantee, there is literally NO RISK for you. If you aren't satisfied
ANY reason
, or it doesn't live up to your expectations, just send me an email [mbhutten@gmail.com] and
I will refund your payment …right up to and including the final day of my 30-day guarantee.

5.   Within five minutes from now, you can gain instant download access and start saving your relationship!
Living with an Aspergers Partner, you will receive everything you need to know about (a) Aspergers
in adults, (b) how it affects relationships, and (c) how to make adjustments accordingly ...so that you and your
partner can change, grow and recover – even if your partner doesn't want to work on it!

The Bottom Line—

I can - and will - help you, but you’re the one who will have to take some action.  I can’t do it for you!

The Aspergers couples I work with have tried very hard to address their relationship difficulties on their own,
but with little or no success.  And it seems the harder they try, the worse it gets.  

They say they’ve
tried everything to improve their relationship. But after a few sessions with me, they come to
realize that they have
not tried everything, rather they have tried some things.

There is no need for you to continue living as a frustrated, stressed-out partner/spouse. If you will read my
eBook, and then email me for follow-up consultation (if needed), then you will achieve the same success as
hundreds of others.

After years of living in a stressful and unsatisfying relationship, many partners feel so defeated that they believe
nothing (nobody) will be able to help them – they think it’s simply “too late.”  But I promise you – it is NOT too

No. I'm not a “miracle worker,” but you don't need a miracle to get your relationship on a good track – you
simply need the right strategies that apply specifically to a condition called "Aspergers."

Take a step of faith. There's absolutely nothing to lose, but a lot to be potentially gained.

                                                                                                                 ~ Mark Hutten, M.A.
Frequently Asked Questions

Can other therapists use the information in
this program to counsel their couples who
are affected by Aspergers?

Every counselor who works with Aspergers
couples will benefit from the strategies
presented in this material. Many therapists
who were not well-versed in the special
needs of these individuals are now better
equipped to help their clients avoid conflict
and resultant separation or divorce.

Who is this program for exactly ...the man
or the woman ...the one WITH Aspergers or
the one without?

Both. The information will apply in all of the
following cases:

  1. partners live together but are not
  2. partners are married
  3. only the male partner has Aspergers
  4. only the female partner has Aspergers
  5. both partners have Aspergers

Ideally, both the "Aspie" and the partner
without Aspergers will participate.

Does the one with Aspergers have to
participate in order for the techniques to
be effective?

No. Ideally both people will read and
implement the strategies …this will provide
the greatest possibility of a positive outcome.
However, many have reported good success
with the program even though the Aspergers
partner did not see a problem with the
relationship and had no interest in working
on it.

I’m not considering divorce or anything like
that. I just want to help my husband – and
myself. Can this program work for me?

Absolutely. You’re in a much better position
than most. Research states that 80% of
people affected by Aspergers who get married
also get divorced (and many never get
married at all). This is due mainly to the lack
of information out there regarding what
adjustments need to be made in a unique
relationship like this. A partner with any
disorder – Aspergers or otherwise – will need
special consideration. So, you’re willingness
to hang-in there is both impressive and
admirable. Better to trouble-shoot while the
‘relationship problems’ are small rather than
wait for years of resentment to build-up.

If I use your methods, how long will it
take to see a positive change in my

You should notice positive changes in your
partner and in yourself the very first day you
use the strategies outlined in ‘Living with an
Aspergers Partner’. As you begin to
implement the techniques outlined in the
program, you will see even more significant,
long-lasting and positive changes in your
relationship. Dealing with Aspergers traits will
become easier and much less confusing.

Does it matter how old we are or how long
we’ve been together?

Not really. Age or ‘duration of relationship’
is not nearly as important as (a) under-
standing how Aspergers affects adults and
relationships, (b) learning how to deal with
the Aspergers partner’s weaknesses, and
(c) how to capitalize on his/her strengths.

I'm not sure my husband has Aspergers.
He has a lot of the traits, but no formal
diagnosis. Would this eBook apply to me
and my situation?

If he has a lot of the traits, then 'yes' - it
applies. Diagnosis or not, you are living with
the special (and often times frustrating) set of
characteristics associated with Aspergers.

How do you get an “official diagnosis” of

In addition to those with an MD or PhD, any
professional with the credentials and
expertise to diagnose any other condition may
also make a diagnosis of Aspergers. Such
professionals may be social workers (MSW),
master’s level psychologists (MA), or other
mental health professionals.

Many individuals pursue neuropsychological
testing with a neuropsychologist (PhD) or a
psychiatrist (MD). As a result of this testing, it
may be determined that the individual has
Aspergers, something related to Aspergers,
or something different. This will give a fairly
full picture of strengths and challenges and of
how one’s brain processes information.

Neuropsychological testing is not required to
get an “official diagnosis”. To apply for Social
Security, one must receive the diagnosis from
an MD or a PhD.

Is it ever too late to discover Aspergers or
seek a diagnosis?

It is never too late for an individual to increase
self-awareness in order to capitalize on
strengths and work around areas of
challenge. Knowing about Aspergers gives
the individual an explanation, not an excuse,
for why his or her life has taken the twists and
turns that it has. What one does with this
information at the age of 20, 50 or 70 may
differ, but it is still very important information to

If I think my husband has Aspergers, should
I tell him?

Yes.  My bias is that it is better to know than
not to know. If you have Aspergers and don’t
know, it affects you anyway; if you do know,
you may be able to minimize the negative
impact and leverage the positive. Without the
knowledge that one has Aspergers, one often
fills that void with other, more damaging
explanations such as failure, weird,
disappointment, not living up to one’s
potential, etc.

How do I tell my partner that he may have

Lead with strengths!  Most people with
Aspergers have significant areas of strength,
even if this has not been translatable into
tangible success. Bring up areas of strength
with the person with suspected Aspergers.

Next, tactfully point out the areas in which they
are struggling.

Then, suggest to them that there is a name for
that confusing combination of strengths and
challenges, and it may be Aspergers. You
may lead them to
MyAspergersChild.com or
other resources for further information.
Provide support along the way.

I'm currently not in a relationship.  Does
your information help those with Aspergers
develop social skills that will help in the
future should they decide to date?

Definitely. The individual with Aspergers (AS)
will learn (among other things):

  • what his/her natural strengths and
    weaknesses are
  • how to capitalize on strengths and
    minimize weaknesses
  • how to date
  • how to be a life-long partner
  • how to avoid pitfalls along the way

When Aspies get a few
specific relationship
tools in their toolbox, they are often just as
successful with the opposite sex as NTs or
"neurotypicals" (i.e., people without AS).

Do you have a question?  Feel free to email
Mark Hutten at
More Reader Reviews

Thanks for the information. I have an 11-year-old who has Aspergers. I now believe his father also has it. I believe he has learned over
the years how to compensate for its manifestations. Unfortunately, we had filed for divorce before I read your ebook. It is such a difficult
illness to handle with your child, but when it is your spouse, it is unbelievable the damage it can do to your relationship. In any event, your
information is helping me deal with my child’s father, even though we are no longer married – there are still issues that I need help with.
(Wish I had access to this info this time last year.)  ~ Marilynn

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 5. He is now 8. My husband had been diagnosed with ADHD a few years before
our son was born, but the ADHD meds never helped him. When I put my son on the GFCF (gluten-free, casein-free) diet, he made huge
gains very quickly. So, my husband went GFCF as well. It actually helped my husband too. Later, my husband was diagnosed with
Aspergers. I love both my boys, but I can't live this way any longer. I have lost myself inside interventions, compromises, and sacrifices.
I need a husband to support all that I do for my son (biomedical, therapies, preschool, research, etc.), but he only models the very
behaviors I am trying to replace. We are newly separated after a month that included the typical communication difficulties, a physical
attack on me, and socially inappropriate behavior towards my grandmother. I am heartbroken because I know that, for my husband (not
my son), this is a life sentence. I don't want to live the rest of my life depressed, embarrassed, and in a parent-child relationship. So, I’m
going to give 'Living with an Aspergers Partner' a try. Thank you for this information. I trust it will help us all at some level.   ~ Virginia

I am in love and married to a man with "Aspergers- like" characteristics (not sure if he actually has the disorder). We have a successful
marriage and our lives are well. Occasionally, I will become emotionally exhausted, but this relates partially to my hormonal changes
monthly and the fact I am getting older. Thanks to the guidance in your program, I now have limits, we are setting boundaries, and
communicating mostly well. We have just had a wonderful turn around. Mainly because I realized I do not have to be right all the time and
I do not need to be so defensive with everything. I am a physical medicine researcher and therapist and have experience working with
autistic/adhd children. But these experiences did not help me to be more patient even though I understand the neurochemistry behind
Aspergers. It wasn’t until I read your ebook that I started responding to my husband "the right way", which has made all the difference in
the world in how we communicate. Your emails over the last several weeks have really been a support to me as well.   ~ Stephanie

I am an NT and my husband has Aspergers. He was diagnosed at the age of 35 (last year). We have been married for 7 years. It's been
a tough road, but one worth traveling. Traits of those on the Autism spectrum can be endearing. Your ebook has helped me to see the
positives that I used to see in my husband, but lost sight of over the years; he has many more strengths than weaknesses – and I
needed to be reminded of that. My husband is very loyal and trustworthy. He wants to be home and spend time with his family. He's
socially "blind" and doesn't like chit chat. A conversation should have purpose, in his mind. He's the most determined man I know and I
respect him with my whole being. I would rather have a strong, determined, loyal husband than one that can socialize at a dinner party.
Maybe some have all of that ...count your blessings.   ~ Jenny

Hi Mark - I'm an Aspergers husband who fits all the characteristics that you talk about. It was, unfortunately, destroying my marriage. I had
no idea what to do about it though -- until now. You've given me some tools, and they are working. I'm not going to lie -- it has been very
difficult to follow through with most of the suggestions in your book -- none of this comes natural to me -- but I am taking it one day at a
time and am beginning to see my wife smile again. You've worked a miracle in my life. That's all I can say.   ~ Vaughn

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Another Reader Review

Hi Mark,

It just struck me today that my Aspy wife is "tormented by perfectionism." Because of her seemingly constant perfectionistic torment,
my wife feels compelled to bring all "imperfections" to my attention.  In response, I'm expected to cease my imperfect actions, or be
chastised and punished with anger and bitterness if I don't. It's only now I realize that most of my "imperfections" are in reality not
harmful, detrimental, or inherently bad things that I'm doing. Instead, my "imperfections" are, for the most part, normal aspects of my
(NT) humanness.  My way of being is actually ok...it's me being human.

You'd think that after being married to my wife for 36 years that this revelation would have come to me many years ago. But, being the
trusting sort, I always accepted my wife's assertions at face value. I now realize that her criticisms of my "imperfections" will never
cease, no matter how much I try to adapt and comply. It's been 36 years of frustration for me, but at least I now have informed
guidance, thanks to your awesome book, on how to deal with this situation.

I can trace my roots back for about a thousand years; I find there has never been a divorce in my line of ancestors. So, I don't plan to
break that family tradition, even though living with an Aspy wife is very frustrating. But, I've sold my old residence in the depths of
hopelessness, and have moved into a nice place in the land of self esteem. Bottom Line: I now have hope of significantly bettering
both my marriage and myself. You've done a good thing, Mark, a very good thing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Very respectfully, Joseph