You cannot do it alone!
One of the most important things we,
as parents, can do in dealing with an
intense, strong-willed child is admit to
ourselves that we must have outside
assistance in some shape, form, or
fashion. Whether it is your spouse,
relative, friend, pastor, or a counselor,
you need to be able to talk to someone
with total frankness, especially when
things are going wrong. You cannot do
it yourself -- don't try!
One of the most important things we,
as parents, can do in dealing with an
intense, strong-willed child is admit to
ourselves that we must have outside
assistance in some shape, form, or
fashion. Whether it is your spouse,
relative, friend, pastor, or a counselor,
you need to be able to talk to someone
with total frankness, especially when
things are going wrong. You cannot do
it yourself -- don't try!
Here are some of the common issues that come up with the intense, strong-willed child:
· Arranging alternative schooling for the child because he/she has been suspended
· Considering out of home placement
· Grieving the loss of the child you hoped you would have
· Having money disappear and suspecting your child
· Having people blame you for what the child has done
· Having to tell your child that he has to go live with the other parent
· Having to call the police to come out to your house because of a major temper tantrum
· Hearing about crimes in the neighborhood and wondering if it was your child
· Seeing the system write your child off
· Sometimes admitting that you just cannot cope with this child alone
Unfortunately, so many parents today find themselves struggling with the "intensity' of an out-of-control child
and wind up being advised to moderate the intensity by using medications as a first intervention rather than as
a very last resort. I’m not a proponent for medication to “treat” ODD -- or ADHD. The method outlined in my
eBook puts parents, teachers and professionals in the driver's seat and gives them the perspective and
strategies to shift children into using their "intensity-seeking" in constructive, rather than destructive, ways.
Many kids wind up on medications simply because there has not been an approach that consistently helps them
to use their intensity-seeking successfully. 75% of all children evaluated for conditions such as ODD and ADHD
receive medication on the very first visit. The unfortunate underlying message is “your teachers can't control
you, your parents can't control you, and you can't control yourself... you need a drug to control
whatever is going on inside you.”
Parents can end up feeling inadequate and blamed, teachers can feel like failures as educators, treatment
professionals can sometimes be at a loss as to how best to help, and the result for the kid is being at risk for
side effects that can rarely be adequately explained in the course of an evaluation -- and for greater loss of
self than can ever be fully anticipated.
“Traditional” parenting and teaching strategies typically backfire with intense kids. Despite the best of
intentions, the harder adults attempt normal responses, the worse the situation becomes.
The culprits are the parenting techniques most people have at their disposal... not the parents, teachers, or
child. Parenting strategies designed for the “normal” child simply do not have a “transformative” effect on kids
with behaviors involving opposition, defiance or inability to manage strong impulses or emotions.
The good news is that the strategies outlined in my eBook create the “transformation” needed to effect long-
lasting, positive change in the child. Instead of an out-of-control kid believing that he gets a great deal more
from adults through negativity, the “transformed” kid is moved to believing that he can fully invest his energies
and intelligence in successful ways.
Do your child a huge favor. Do NOT use medication as a first intervention. Using the strategies in the
eBook, you – the parent - will do a much better job of getting your child “back on track” than medication,
psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, and so on.
· Arranging alternative schooling for the child because he/she has been suspended
· Considering out of home placement
· Grieving the loss of the child you hoped you would have
· Having money disappear and suspecting your child
· Having people blame you for what the child has done
· Having to tell your child that he has to go live with the other parent
· Having to call the police to come out to your house because of a major temper tantrum
· Hearing about crimes in the neighborhood and wondering if it was your child
· Seeing the system write your child off
· Sometimes admitting that you just cannot cope with this child alone
Unfortunately, so many parents today find themselves struggling with the "intensity' of an out-of-control child
and wind up being advised to moderate the intensity by using medications as a first intervention rather than as
a very last resort. I’m not a proponent for medication to “treat” ODD -- or ADHD. The method outlined in my
eBook puts parents, teachers and professionals in the driver's seat and gives them the perspective and
strategies to shift children into using their "intensity-seeking" in constructive, rather than destructive, ways.
Many kids wind up on medications simply because there has not been an approach that consistently helps them
to use their intensity-seeking successfully. 75% of all children evaluated for conditions such as ODD and ADHD
receive medication on the very first visit. The unfortunate underlying message is “your teachers can't control
you, your parents can't control you, and you can't control yourself... you need a drug to control
whatever is going on inside you.”
Parents can end up feeling inadequate and blamed, teachers can feel like failures as educators, treatment
professionals can sometimes be at a loss as to how best to help, and the result for the kid is being at risk for
side effects that can rarely be adequately explained in the course of an evaluation -- and for greater loss of
self than can ever be fully anticipated.
“Traditional” parenting and teaching strategies typically backfire with intense kids. Despite the best of
intentions, the harder adults attempt normal responses, the worse the situation becomes.
The culprits are the parenting techniques most people have at their disposal... not the parents, teachers, or
child. Parenting strategies designed for the “normal” child simply do not have a “transformative” effect on kids
with behaviors involving opposition, defiance or inability to manage strong impulses or emotions.
The good news is that the strategies outlined in my eBook create the “transformation” needed to effect long-
lasting, positive change in the child. Instead of an out-of-control kid believing that he gets a great deal more
from adults through negativity, the “transformed” kid is moved to believing that he can fully invest his energies
and intelligence in successful ways.
Do your child a huge favor. Do NOT use medication as a first intervention. Using the strategies in the
eBook, you – the parent - will do a much better job of getting your child “back on track” than medication,
psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, and so on.