| Teen Anger-Management Problems |
| Anger Management-- The term anger management commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angered emotional state. Stress has been found to have a direct correlation to unmanaged anger and aggression. Stress is a stepping-stone to anger. Stress management is often overlooked as a component of the anger management process. Controlling your anger is a choice you can make. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems: problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger - or a partner's anger - let a discussion spin out of control. If you simply can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can help control your temper when it may flare up. You may need to keep something with you that serves as a reminder to step back from the situation and get your anger under control. Role-playing in controlled situations, such as anger management classes, can help you practice your anger management techniques. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn some anger management techniques. What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. With due diligence, anger management techniques will come more naturally. The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. Interventions include learning empathy, stress management skills, forgiveness, changing self-talk, and improving optimism. Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. Everyone wants certain things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. |
Teen Anger-Management Problems--
Teen anger can be a frightening emotion, and although not inherently harmful, teen anger can lead
to teen rage and teen violence, which can soon destroy a family.
Anger management skills help teens to recognize the effects of uncontrolled anger and assist them in
managing it better. There are many different statistics out showing the effects for teen anger on
everything from dating to school to home life. Although all of the statistics focus on differing topics,
they all point to one frightening conclusion -- teen anger and violence is now, and has been for several
years, a problem in our society.
Teen anger comes from underlying emotional problems such as fear or rejection or failure. The basic
idea behind teen anger management, as with any other type of anger management as well, is that if
you do not control your anger, it will control you.
Most teen management professionals agree that dealing with a teen with an anger problem should
start at home. Many parents recognize that their teen has a problem with anger management. They
feel their teen needs to develop anger management skills, or needs to find some kind of anger
management counseling that will help them get along better in life, in school, at work, with a parent,
with siblings, and others. This site is to help parents be aware of specific warning signs that may
indicate if a teenager has an anger management problem more significant than what is to normally be
expected.
Symptoms of Serious Anger Problems—
· Been the victim of school bullies
· Carrying a weapon(s)
· Cruelty to animals
· Damaging property while in a fit of anger
· Failure to acknowledge the feelings of other
· Fascination with weapons
· Frequent loss of temper over small issues
· Frequent physical fighting with friends, acquaintances and family members
· Gang affiliations
· Use of drugs and/or alcohol
· Written plans for violent acts
Also, the characteristics of teens with anger management problems are included in the professional
diagnosis for “Conduct Disorder” or an “Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)”.
Though many parents may equate “adolescent anger management” with the “fight-violence-gun,”
parents must also recognize that anger may be “turned inwards” in the “flight-silence-run” mode,
which can often times be as dangerous, if not more so, than expressed anger. Most teens with anger
management problems will go to either extreme of fight or flight.
Teen “Fighters” have anger management problems that are creating an unsafe situation for
themselves, for others, or for property around them. Intervention can be through anger
management counseling, an anger management program, or a program dedicated and experienced in
working with teenagers with anger management problems.
Parents should be worried if their child is physically violent: punching walls, hitting others or throwing
things. This can bring about frustration and confusion that can lead to anger and a pattern of reactive
behavior for both parents and teens. That is, teens are simply negatively reacting to their parent's
behaviors, and parents react back in an equally negative manner.
Anger Control—
The intention is not to deny the anger, but to control that emotion and
find a way to express it in a productive or at least, a less harmful, manner.
Do my emotions control me, or do I control my emotions? When a difficult
teen is out of control, they only can hear themselves and what they want.
Developmentally, there are periods of life where growth struggles bring about increased frustration
(like when you're a toddler or a teenager), because kids are trying to understand what they get to
control and what they don't get to control. While it is natural to be disappointed and frustrated with
your child for losing control one more time, he needs your support and understanding.
An important distinction to make is that we want our kids to learn to control the expression of their
feelings, not the feeling itself. Help your son learn to recognize his feelings before they get out of
control. If your son's angry outbursts continue or feel out of control, or if he is being violent toward
pets or people, seek out the support of a counselor or other professional who works with adolescents.
Help them to recognize the feelings that cause the anger and how to deal with them before they get
out of control. Remember: uncontrollable fits of rage are used by teens as threats to get their way.
Anger is a responsive emotion that we as humans basically cannot help or prevent, however some
people’s anger is so serious and out of control that it absolutely must be dealt with. Basically the
emphasis here then is on control, and on your ability to be able to manage your anger and deal with it
appropriately.
Most of the anger management techniques that are used in the world today are designed specifically
to achieve calmness and relaxation, and there are some commonly used anger-control techniques that
are used in this process:
· cognitive reframing, which involves changing the way you think and react to a situation
· humor, which involves you being able to see the humor in a situation
· redirecting your anger, which can involve anything from hitting a pillow or throwing darts
· relaxation, which involves breathing exercises, muscle relaxation and imagery
Feelings—
Listen to your teen and focus on feelings. There are so many factors
that can contribute to these feelings. The feelings are very real and
should be addressed as soon as you see that your child is starting to
run the household. There are stressful circumstances with friends,
sports, school, or home which can cause increased feelings of anger.
However, it's important to bear in mind that there are other feelings
underneath that need to be expressed and resolved.
Understand that feelings are not wrong. In our society, certain feelings are viewed as "negative" and
others as "positive.” If children get the message that there is something wrong with some of their
feelings, they come to believe that something must be wrong with them. Understanding that feelings
are normal can turn our energies to learning to express them appropriately rather than repressing
them. Help your son explore acceptable ways to express anger and other feelings.
When our children are struggling with big feelings, especially anger, very often our own feelings get
stirred up. As your son learns the things that are likely to trigger his anger (not eating enough, not
getting enough sleep, having a disappointment in school, experiencing a setback in sports), he will feel
less blind-sided by his feelings. If your son can learn to recognize that he is "on the way" towards
being mad, he can make some decisions about what he wants to do with the feeling, rather than letting
the feeling overtake him.
Are you considerate of the feelings of everyone you live with, including your, sometimes, frustrating
teenager? Usually, the child knows inside that something is not right, but the complexity of their
feelings give them fear and they hesitate talking about these fears since they believe they can trust no
one – especially their parents.
There are some basic steps that anyone who feels they have even a slight anger problem should
follow, which includes that of:
· avoiding people and situations that are likely to trigger your anger
· expressing your angry feelings in a measured and appropriate manner
· reducing and regulating the intensity of your anger by calming it appropriately and properly
· suppressing your angry behaviors (e.g., cussing, fighting, breaking things, etc.)
Family conflicts or other psychosocial stress may leave youth with frustration, anger, demoralization
and anxious feelings. Conversely, talking about feelings – regularly – is an important first step for
parents to take in order to avoid an escalation of domestic violence in the home.
Teen anger can be a frightening emotion, and although not inherently harmful, teen anger can lead
to teen rage and teen violence, which can soon destroy a family.
Anger management skills help teens to recognize the effects of uncontrolled anger and assist them in
managing it better. There are many different statistics out showing the effects for teen anger on
everything from dating to school to home life. Although all of the statistics focus on differing topics,
they all point to one frightening conclusion -- teen anger and violence is now, and has been for several
years, a problem in our society.
Teen anger comes from underlying emotional problems such as fear or rejection or failure. The basic
idea behind teen anger management, as with any other type of anger management as well, is that if
you do not control your anger, it will control you.
Most teen management professionals agree that dealing with a teen with an anger problem should
start at home. Many parents recognize that their teen has a problem with anger management. They
feel their teen needs to develop anger management skills, or needs to find some kind of anger
management counseling that will help them get along better in life, in school, at work, with a parent,
with siblings, and others. This site is to help parents be aware of specific warning signs that may
indicate if a teenager has an anger management problem more significant than what is to normally be
expected.
Symptoms of Serious Anger Problems—
· Been the victim of school bullies
· Carrying a weapon(s)
· Cruelty to animals
· Damaging property while in a fit of anger
· Failure to acknowledge the feelings of other
· Fascination with weapons
· Frequent loss of temper over small issues
· Frequent physical fighting with friends, acquaintances and family members
· Gang affiliations
· Use of drugs and/or alcohol
· Written plans for violent acts
Also, the characteristics of teens with anger management problems are included in the professional
diagnosis for “Conduct Disorder” or an “Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)”.
Though many parents may equate “adolescent anger management” with the “fight-violence-gun,”
parents must also recognize that anger may be “turned inwards” in the “flight-silence-run” mode,
which can often times be as dangerous, if not more so, than expressed anger. Most teens with anger
management problems will go to either extreme of fight or flight.
Teen “Fighters” have anger management problems that are creating an unsafe situation for
themselves, for others, or for property around them. Intervention can be through anger
management counseling, an anger management program, or a program dedicated and experienced in
working with teenagers with anger management problems.
Parents should be worried if their child is physically violent: punching walls, hitting others or throwing
things. This can bring about frustration and confusion that can lead to anger and a pattern of reactive
behavior for both parents and teens. That is, teens are simply negatively reacting to their parent's
behaviors, and parents react back in an equally negative manner.
Anger Control—
The intention is not to deny the anger, but to control that emotion and
find a way to express it in a productive or at least, a less harmful, manner.
Do my emotions control me, or do I control my emotions? When a difficult
teen is out of control, they only can hear themselves and what they want.
Developmentally, there are periods of life where growth struggles bring about increased frustration
(like when you're a toddler or a teenager), because kids are trying to understand what they get to
control and what they don't get to control. While it is natural to be disappointed and frustrated with
your child for losing control one more time, he needs your support and understanding.
An important distinction to make is that we want our kids to learn to control the expression of their
feelings, not the feeling itself. Help your son learn to recognize his feelings before they get out of
control. If your son's angry outbursts continue or feel out of control, or if he is being violent toward
pets or people, seek out the support of a counselor or other professional who works with adolescents.
Help them to recognize the feelings that cause the anger and how to deal with them before they get
out of control. Remember: uncontrollable fits of rage are used by teens as threats to get their way.
Anger is a responsive emotion that we as humans basically cannot help or prevent, however some
people’s anger is so serious and out of control that it absolutely must be dealt with. Basically the
emphasis here then is on control, and on your ability to be able to manage your anger and deal with it
appropriately.
Most of the anger management techniques that are used in the world today are designed specifically
to achieve calmness and relaxation, and there are some commonly used anger-control techniques that
are used in this process:
· cognitive reframing, which involves changing the way you think and react to a situation
· humor, which involves you being able to see the humor in a situation
· redirecting your anger, which can involve anything from hitting a pillow or throwing darts
· relaxation, which involves breathing exercises, muscle relaxation and imagery
Feelings—
Listen to your teen and focus on feelings. There are so many factors
that can contribute to these feelings. The feelings are very real and
should be addressed as soon as you see that your child is starting to
run the household. There are stressful circumstances with friends,
sports, school, or home which can cause increased feelings of anger.
However, it's important to bear in mind that there are other feelings
underneath that need to be expressed and resolved.
Understand that feelings are not wrong. In our society, certain feelings are viewed as "negative" and
others as "positive.” If children get the message that there is something wrong with some of their
feelings, they come to believe that something must be wrong with them. Understanding that feelings
are normal can turn our energies to learning to express them appropriately rather than repressing
them. Help your son explore acceptable ways to express anger and other feelings.
When our children are struggling with big feelings, especially anger, very often our own feelings get
stirred up. As your son learns the things that are likely to trigger his anger (not eating enough, not
getting enough sleep, having a disappointment in school, experiencing a setback in sports), he will feel
less blind-sided by his feelings. If your son can learn to recognize that he is "on the way" towards
being mad, he can make some decisions about what he wants to do with the feeling, rather than letting
the feeling overtake him.
Are you considerate of the feelings of everyone you live with, including your, sometimes, frustrating
teenager? Usually, the child knows inside that something is not right, but the complexity of their
feelings give them fear and they hesitate talking about these fears since they believe they can trust no
one – especially their parents.
There are some basic steps that anyone who feels they have even a slight anger problem should
follow, which includes that of:
· avoiding people and situations that are likely to trigger your anger
· expressing your angry feelings in a measured and appropriate manner
· reducing and regulating the intensity of your anger by calming it appropriately and properly
· suppressing your angry behaviors (e.g., cussing, fighting, breaking things, etc.)
Family conflicts or other psychosocial stress may leave youth with frustration, anger, demoralization
and anxious feelings. Conversely, talking about feelings – regularly – is an important first step for
parents to take in order to avoid an escalation of domestic violence in the home.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder—
Road rage. Domestic abuse. Angry outbursts or temper tantrums that involve throwing or
breaking objects. Sometimes such erratic eruptions can be caused by a condition known as
intermittent explosive disorder.
Intermittent explosive disorder is a mental disturbance that is characterized by specific episodes
of violent and aggressive behavior that may involve harm to others or destruction of property.
Intermittent explosive disorder is discussed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders fourth edition (DSM-IV) under the heading of "Impulse-Control Disorders Not
Elsewhere Classified." As such, it is grouped together with kleptomania, pyromania, and
pathological gambling.
Impulsive aggression is unpremeditated, and is defined by a disproportionate reaction to any
provocation, real or perceived. Some individuals who rage have reported affective changes prior
to an outburst (e.g., tension, mood changes, energy changes, etc.).
A person must meet certain specific criteria to be diagnosed with Intermittent explosive disorder:
Intermittent explosive disorder is frequently associated with mood and anxiety disorders,
substance abuse and eating disorders, and narcissistic, paranoid, and antisocial personality
disorders. Intermittent explosive disorder may result in job loss, school suspension, divorce, auto
accidents, incarceration, etc.
Anger Management Problems—
People with intermittent explosive disorder often admit that they have an anger
management problem and describe strong impulses to act aggressively prior to the specific
incidents reported to the doctor and/or the police. They may experience racing thoughts or a
heightened energy level during the aggressive episode, with fatigue and depression developing
shortly afterward. Some people who rage report various physical sensations, including tightness
in the chest, tingling sensations, tremor, hearing echoes, or a feeling of pressure inside the head.
Many people with anger management problems appear to have general problems with other
impulsive behaviors between explosive episodes. Some are able to control aggressive impulses
without acting on them while others act out in less destructive ways, such as screaming at
someone rather than attacking them physically.
1.4 million persons in the United States currently meet the criteria for intermittent explosive
disorder, with a total of 10 million meeting the lifetime criteria for the disorder. 80% of
individuals diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder in the United States are adolescent
and adult males. Women do experience intermittent explosive disorder, however, and have
reported it as part of premenstrual syndrome.
One reason researchers think that intermittent explosive disorder is more common than
previously thought is that most people who meet the criteria for the disorder do not seek help for
the problems in their lives that result from it. Researchers found that, although 88% of the 253
individuals with intermittent explosive disorder studied were upset by the results of their
explosive outbursts, only 13% had ever asked for treatment in dealing with it.
Explosive eruptions, usually lasting 10 to 20 minutes, often result in injuries and the deliberate
destruction of property. These episodes may occur in clusters or be separated by weeks or
months of non-aggression.
Aggressive episodes may be preceded or accompanied by:
· Chest tightness
· Head pressure
· Hearing an echo
· Palpitations
· Tingling
· Tremor
Causes—
Most people with anger management problems grew up in families where explosive behavior and
verbal and physical abuse were common. Being exposed to this type of violence at an early age
makes it more likely for these children to exhibit these same traits as they mature. There may
also be a genetic component, causing the disorder to be passed down from parents to children.
Some scientists have reported abnormally low levels of serotonin, a neuro-transmitter that
affects mood, in the cerebrospinal fluid of some anger-prone persons, but the relationship of this
finding to intermittent explosive disorder is not clear. Similarly, some individuals with anger
management problems have a medical history that includes migraine headaches, seizures,
attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or developmental problems of various types, but it is not
clear that these cause intermittent explosive disorder, as most persons with migraines, learning
problems, or other neurological disorders do not develop intermittent explosive disorder.
Some scientists believe that anger management problems result from rigid beliefs and a tendency
to misinterpret other people's behavior in accordance with these beliefs. Most people with anger
management problems believe that other people are basically hostile and untrustworthy, that
physical force is the only way to obtain respect from others, and that life in general is a battlefield.
Certain characteristic errors in thinking that go along with these beliefs:
Risk Factors—
· As children, individuals may have exhibited severe temper tantrums and other behavioral
problems (e.g., stealing, fire setting)
· Co-existing mental health problems (e.g., mood disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders)
· Narcissistic, obsessive, paranoid or schizoid traits
· Substance abuse
Treatment—
Many different types of drugs are used to help control intermittent explosive disorder and anger
management difficulties, including:
· Anti-anxiety agents in the benzodiazepine family, such as diazepam (Valium), lorazepam
(Ativan) and alprazolam (Xanax)
· Anticonvulsants, such as carbamazepine (Tegretol), phenytoin (Dilantin), gabapentin
(Neurontin) and lamotrigine (Lamictal)
· Antidepressants, such as fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Paxil)
· Mood regulators like lithium and propranolol (Inderal)
Some persons with anger management problems benefit from cognitive
therapy in addition to medications, particularly if they are concerned
about the impact of their disorder on their education, employment, or
interpersonal relationships. Group counseling sessions, focused on rage
management, also have proved helpful. Some people have found
relaxation techniques useful in neutralizing anger.
Road rage. Domestic abuse. Angry outbursts or temper tantrums that involve throwing or
breaking objects. Sometimes such erratic eruptions can be caused by a condition known as
intermittent explosive disorder.
Intermittent explosive disorder is a mental disturbance that is characterized by specific episodes
of violent and aggressive behavior that may involve harm to others or destruction of property.
Intermittent explosive disorder is discussed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders fourth edition (DSM-IV) under the heading of "Impulse-Control Disorders Not
Elsewhere Classified." As such, it is grouped together with kleptomania, pyromania, and
pathological gambling.
Impulsive aggression is unpremeditated, and is defined by a disproportionate reaction to any
provocation, real or perceived. Some individuals who rage have reported affective changes prior
to an outburst (e.g., tension, mood changes, energy changes, etc.).
A person must meet certain specific criteria to be diagnosed with Intermittent explosive disorder:
- The behavior cannot be accounted for by another mental disorder, substance abuse,
medication side effects, or such general medical conditions as epilepsy or head injuries.
- The degree of aggression expressed must be out of proportion to any provocation or other
stressor prior to the incidents.
- There must be several separate episodes of failure to restrain aggressive impulses that
result in serious assaults against others or property destruction.
Intermittent explosive disorder is frequently associated with mood and anxiety disorders,
substance abuse and eating disorders, and narcissistic, paranoid, and antisocial personality
disorders. Intermittent explosive disorder may result in job loss, school suspension, divorce, auto
accidents, incarceration, etc.
Anger Management Problems—
People with intermittent explosive disorder often admit that they have an anger
management problem and describe strong impulses to act aggressively prior to the specific
incidents reported to the doctor and/or the police. They may experience racing thoughts or a
heightened energy level during the aggressive episode, with fatigue and depression developing
shortly afterward. Some people who rage report various physical sensations, including tightness
in the chest, tingling sensations, tremor, hearing echoes, or a feeling of pressure inside the head.
Many people with anger management problems appear to have general problems with other
impulsive behaviors between explosive episodes. Some are able to control aggressive impulses
without acting on them while others act out in less destructive ways, such as screaming at
someone rather than attacking them physically.
1.4 million persons in the United States currently meet the criteria for intermittent explosive
disorder, with a total of 10 million meeting the lifetime criteria for the disorder. 80% of
individuals diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder in the United States are adolescent
and adult males. Women do experience intermittent explosive disorder, however, and have
reported it as part of premenstrual syndrome.
One reason researchers think that intermittent explosive disorder is more common than
previously thought is that most people who meet the criteria for the disorder do not seek help for
the problems in their lives that result from it. Researchers found that, although 88% of the 253
individuals with intermittent explosive disorder studied were upset by the results of their
explosive outbursts, only 13% had ever asked for treatment in dealing with it.
Explosive eruptions, usually lasting 10 to 20 minutes, often result in injuries and the deliberate
destruction of property. These episodes may occur in clusters or be separated by weeks or
months of non-aggression.
Aggressive episodes may be preceded or accompanied by:
· Chest tightness
· Head pressure
· Hearing an echo
· Palpitations
· Tingling
· Tremor
Causes—
Most people with anger management problems grew up in families where explosive behavior and
verbal and physical abuse were common. Being exposed to this type of violence at an early age
makes it more likely for these children to exhibit these same traits as they mature. There may
also be a genetic component, causing the disorder to be passed down from parents to children.
Some scientists have reported abnormally low levels of serotonin, a neuro-transmitter that
affects mood, in the cerebrospinal fluid of some anger-prone persons, but the relationship of this
finding to intermittent explosive disorder is not clear. Similarly, some individuals with anger
management problems have a medical history that includes migraine headaches, seizures,
attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or developmental problems of various types, but it is not
clear that these cause intermittent explosive disorder, as most persons with migraines, learning
problems, or other neurological disorders do not develop intermittent explosive disorder.
Some scientists believe that anger management problems result from rigid beliefs and a tendency
to misinterpret other people's behavior in accordance with these beliefs. Most people with anger
management problems believe that other people are basically hostile and untrustworthy, that
physical force is the only way to obtain respect from others, and that life in general is a battlefield.
Certain characteristic errors in thinking that go along with these beliefs:
- Denial— The person blames others for provoking his violence while denying or minimizing
his own role in the fight or other outburst.
- Misinterpreting the motives of others— The person tends to see neutral or even friendly
behavior as either malicious or manipulative.
- Personalizing— The person interprets others' behavior as directed specifically against him.
- Selective perception— The person notices only those features of situations or interactions
that fit his negative view of the world rather than taking in all available information.
Risk Factors—
· As children, individuals may have exhibited severe temper tantrums and other behavioral
problems (e.g., stealing, fire setting)
· Co-existing mental health problems (e.g., mood disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders)
· Narcissistic, obsessive, paranoid or schizoid traits
· Substance abuse
Treatment—
Many different types of drugs are used to help control intermittent explosive disorder and anger
management difficulties, including:
· Anti-anxiety agents in the benzodiazepine family, such as diazepam (Valium), lorazepam
(Ativan) and alprazolam (Xanax)
· Anticonvulsants, such as carbamazepine (Tegretol), phenytoin (Dilantin), gabapentin
(Neurontin) and lamotrigine (Lamictal)
· Antidepressants, such as fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Paxil)
· Mood regulators like lithium and propranolol (Inderal)
Some persons with anger management problems benefit from cognitive
therapy in addition to medications, particularly if they are concerned
about the impact of their disorder on their education, employment, or
interpersonal relationships. Group counseling sessions, focused on rage
management, also have proved helpful. Some people have found
relaxation techniques useful in neutralizing anger.
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