| Here are your Session #4 Assignments: 1. Continue session #1, #2, #3 assignments. 2. Use "The Six-Step Approach" when something unexpected pops-up. 3. Give your child caring physical affection at least once each day (e.g., a touch on the shoulder or back, a hug, a kiss). Most children are comfortable with different forms of physical affection. Parents can gauge the type of affection with which each of their children is comfortable. Some children are open to physical affection when their friends are not around. Other children are responsive to a touch on the shoulder or back, while others feel comfortable with a full bear hug. The important point is that you need to preserve physical affection with your children. 4. Get all the players together for meetings. For example, if you get a call from school that your kid was being disruptive in class, there are probably at least 5 players -- you, your spouse, the kid, the teacher that sent your kid to the dean, and the dean. Meet with all of them face-to-face if possible. Keep in mind that the out-of-control kid is very manipulative and has convinced the parent that both the teacher and the dean are out to get her ...has convinced the teacher and dean that the parents are unfair ...has convinced the mother that the father is abusive, etc. Never believe anything your kid tells you about how others treat her. All the players need to talk directly with each other. Do not include the kid in these discussions. Everyone needs to agree on what happens when the out-of-control kid does certain things. What do we do if she disrupts class, annoys others incessantly, fights, has a rage attack, states she is going to run away? 5. Limit television and video/computer games. Also co-view television with your kid. The not-so-intense kid does not act-out the violence he views on television or in his games. He can make an easy distinction between fantasy and reality. The intense kid does not make this distinction. The intense, out-of-control kid cannot control his aggressive impulses as well, thus making it more likely he will want to re-produce the intensity he views on television and in his games. 6. Use Active Listening. When it seems that all your out-of-control kid does is bitch, moan, groan, whine, and complain-- DO NOT:
DO:
Listen for the main points. Simply be a sounding board. Don't try to come up with solutions FOR her. Shift the focus to solutions. Ask, “What do you want?” If she responds with “I don’t know,” say “Guess, make something up, if you did know, what would it be?” If her answer is absurd, inquire again, “Based on these facts, what do you want?” If she comes up with a reasonable answer, ask her what she is going to do to bring it about. If all this does not produce any real change, draw the line by saying “If you happen to think of some possible solutions, please let me know!” 7. Return to the Parent Quiz in Session #1. In the first session, you took the Parent Quiz and scored your over-indulgence tendencies on a scale of 40 - 100. Do not be alarmed if you still score high. It may take more than a few weeks to get your score within the ideal range of 40 - 60. Take a few moments and print-out a hard copy of the quiz. Go through it one more time to see if you are making progress. "Making progress" is all we are concerned about at this point. Don't worry about achieving perfection, simply work toward lowering your score -- bit by bit -- over the next several months. 8. Use the parent-coaching feature of OPS. Email me, Mark Hutten, at mbhutten@gmail.com as often as needed over the next several weeks - if not months. Always feel free to contact me with any questions, concerns, or parenting predicaments you may be having. I can usually respond to emails within 12 - 24 hours. I truly want you to be successful with these parenting strategies, and you will pretty much guarantee your success by taking full advantage of the parent-coaching feature of Online Parent Support. 9. Consider getting the audio CDs to play in your car. You've come this far. You may as well go the extra mile and play these CDs in your car on the way to and from work. In this way, you will insure that you never forget what you've learned. In addition, you may discover a few important things that you missed during your first exposure to OPS methodology. ==> CLICK HERE to order the CDs. |
SESSION #4 ASSIGNMENTS--
Instructional Video #26
Violent Video Games
Produce Violent
Behavior--
Research published in 2000 demonstrates that playing
violent video games can increase a person's aggressive
thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Two studies by
psychologists Craig Anderson and Karen Dill published
in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
looked at the effects of violent video games in the lab and
in real life. This powerful combination of two studies
presents persuasive evidence that violent video games
do indeed increase aggression in some players.
Study 1: Video Game Violence in the Real World
In the first study the authors surveyed college students
concerning their use of video games and their reported
aggressive delinquent behaviors in the past. They also
measured the personality trait of aggressiveness to see
how that related to the other variables. Students who had
played more aggressive video games had also engaged
in more aggressive delinquent behavior. Trait
aggressiveness made this relationship even stronger.
The students who spent the most total time playing video
games had the lowest academic grades in college.
Study 2: Video Game Violence in the Lab
The second study by the authors looked at the effects
of actual video game violence. Subjects were college
students who played either a violent video game
(Wolfenstein 3D) or a non-violent game (Myst). These
games had been chosen in a pilot study because they
differed only in the degree of violence in the game and
not on the amount of physiological arousal that they
produced. Following video game play the students took
some tests and participated in a "Competitive reaction
time task" where they were told that they were playing
against another student. They were told that they could
blast the other student with a noise if they won, and that
they could vary the intensity and duration of the blast.
Students in both groups blasted their opponent longer
and louder following trials when they had lost and their
opponent had just blasted them. Students who had
played Wolfenstein 3D blasted their opponent longer and
louder on such trials than students who had played Myst.
Female students blasted their opponents longer and
louder on all trials than male students.
The authors final conclusions are best stated by quoting
the article. They state:
“The present research demonstrated that in both a
correlational investigation using self-reports of real-world
aggressive behaviors and an experimental investigation
using a standard, objective laboratory measure of
aggression, violent video game play was positively
related to increases in aggressive behavior. In the
laboratory, college students who played a violent video
game behaved more aggressively toward an opponent
than did students who had played a nonviolent video
game. Outside the laboratory, students who reported
playing more violent video games over a period of years
also engaged in more aggressive behavior in their own
lives. Both types of studies–correlational—real delinquent
behaviors and experimental—laboratory aggressive
behaviors have their strengths and weaknesses. The
convergence of findings across such disparate methods
lends considerable strength to the main hypothesis that
exposure to violent video games can increase
aggressive behavior.” (Anderson & Dill, 2000)
The authors note that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold
enjoyed playing violent video games, and they speculate
that these games played a role in their violent acts at
Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado in April of
1999. Eric Harris had actually modified a version of the
game Doom and placed it on his Website. In his version
there were two shooters, extra weapons, and the other
people in the game couldn't shoot back. He and Klebold
essentially acted-out their version of Doom on innocent
classmates.
These studies should be of particular concern to parents
of teenagers. Playing violent video games may not be
the innocent activity that many parents think it is. Based
on this new evidence I recommend that parents closely
monitor their teenagers' video game play. Violent video
game play should be limited. Maybe the next school
shooting can be prevented.
Reference: Anderson, Craig & Dill, Karen. Video Games
and Aggressive Thoughts, Feelings, and Behavior in the
Laboratory and in Life. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, April 2000 Vol. 78, No. 4, 772-790.
Mark
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